Ph'lipside of the Pond

How to plan camp

2011-05-16T21:39:00.001-07:00

Often Youth workers will ask..."How do I put together a Camp for my students"

Unfortunately I have no formula but I do have some experience. Here are 10 first steps to planning camp.

1. Do you want to do this? Seriously, ask yourself: "Is this something I want to do?" is there a benefit of planning your own camp that outweighs buying into a camp that already exists? This is important to establish because I know form experience that if you just like the title "Camp Director" and that's the main reason for your project you will hate your life very quickly! Running your own camp is no walk in the park...even if you are camping in a park (especially if you are camping in a park). Prayerfully write a purpose statement for camp. Without a purpose, you are just taking a very stressful vacation.

2. Consider a realistic numerical goal for attendance. Go through previous event attendance and pray about a number. We'd all love to run the most successful camp in the country and change thousands of students lives during our epic week-long program but that probably isn't what will happen...your visionary thinking may be commendable but your budget will not be. About 50% of your youth group attendance is probably a good starting point.

3. Pick a rough date. We put ours at the start of summer, it kicks everything off and all our other events begin the week after camp.

4. Research venues. No venue is perfect so have an idea in your head about what compromises are acceptable and what are not. Separate dorms for guys and girls is probably a non-negotiable, whether soda is served at dinner is probably not. Most venues will book over 12 months in advance.

5. Visit your prospective venues. It is worth the investment! You can get a feel for the campus or site before you sign contracts, ask every question you can think, don't be shy, you are the client. If your venue is too far to visit, I would suggest you think again. Most sites will require a minimum attendance, try to negotiate a number 10% lower than you expect. Pray about your decision.

6. Using the venue costs and transportation cost as a starting point begin to build a budget (more on this later), pray about your budget. Unfortunately a lot rises and falls on money.

7. Write a proposal. I complete a proposal and meet with my direct report to talk and pray it through, raise questions and share ideas. It helps to get details ironed out (so you have something to present) and helps to get the project out of your own head and into reality. It's painful to share a project that you love but those early meetings will help later on. If you don't have a direct report, then bring in a key volunteer.

8. Begin thinking about promotion. The more information you can give out early on the better...location, price etc.

9. Plan out a timeline. When will planning begin? When will registration be open?

10. Think of the whole. It's easy to let camp consume you...but there is life after camp (and before it for that matter) How will camp fit within your ministry year? or How will the Summer fit around camp?

Critcal vs Negative

2011-05-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

I'm naturally critical but some might say negative.

Personally, I think there's a difference. Now I have no idea how Webster defines these words and to be honest I don't need to, it's the concept that I've been thinking about recently. The difference I'm talking about stems from the heart or intention behind the perception or the thought or the comment.

A critical eye (for the purpose of what I'm talking about) looks at something and sees where it isn't as good as it could be. It sees the potential and where the program, or person, or presentation misses the mark.

A negative eye (for the purpose of what I'm talking about) looks for what is wrong, plain and simple.

Does this matter? Well, yes. If you have a comment to say that is the opposite to a positive one ask yourself...."why do I feel like this?" Is it because you can see the potential of what this could be, and it falls shor,t or is it something else.

A critical eye is important, we need to be looking at what could improve what we're doing and how things are perceived. But, this requires action. Simply stating a problem, simply complaining about something or someone is just being negative. If you find yourself unwilling to be a part of the solution then the chances are your opinions are generated from a sinful trait...jealousy, anger, bitterness. If that's the case, you are better off (and so are those around you) if you keep quiet and get out of the way.

This doesn't give you free reign to walk all over people. You can't state your opinion just because you can see potential, of course not. You still need, tact and leadership and discernment. But none of those things will matter if your opinion stems from an insecurity within you.

Challenge negative thinking....don't be quick to discard it, but don't be quick to defend it.

Leading can mean getting out of the way

2011-05-01T23:26:00.000-07:00

We launched registration for HSM Summer Camp this weekend!

As the Event Coordinator this is not just my responsibility but my passion. I wanted a weekend service that would inspire students to register for camp. I wanted to do more than simply promote an event but really connect with their hearts and inspire something within them. I wanted students to come away from the weekend with a yearning for something more.

I think we achieved it!...By playing to people's strengths.

1. For design I asked Jonathan Witt to come up with a look and feel for Summer Camp 2011. I gave very little direction but described the event and let him create.

2. For stage and promo I asked our newest team member Parker Stech to take the design and make something that would stand out and catch students attention. He built a 3D 8ft version of the graphic - it was epic!

3. For music I asked Taffy (Student Ministry Worship Pastor) "To be awesome"
I didn't micro manage, I fully trust what his students can do and gave them full freedom. The choir and band sounded great but, better than that, they worshiped with genuine passion and infective joy. Taffy and a band of graduating seniors will lead worship for us at Summer Camp

4. For the "element of fun" I asked our weekend coordinator Chris Wohlers to use his personality and humor to simply be funny on stage. He ran a goofy "Let's Make a Deal" game in a ridiculous Hawaiian shirt and gave away a few free tickets to camp. Chris will be programming Chapel at Summer Camp.

5. For the message I brought in our Camp Speaker Ron Merrell. I gave him freedom in the topic and he gave a message that made us laugh, that challenged the way we see ourselves and that gave us a good glimpse into his heart and his journey. He was awesome! The best promotion I could wish for.

Lesson Learned: Leading sometimes means simply getting out of the way so that others can do what they were made for. It's easy to fall into the trap of "micro-managing" and trying to keep a hand in every element especially with projects that run close to our hearts. It's more effective, however, to "macro-manage" and play to the strengths of the team, to coordinate the big picture and allow individual team members to run each element with the skills they have.

Of course we need to learn new skills, stretch ourselves and each other but I love working in a way that sets others up to win so that together we can achieve our goal.

The Number ONE question

2011-03-17T22:15:00.001-07:00

The number One question I am asked is "how do you run Blacklight dodgeball"

Here are my thoughts on how we did it...

You need to blackout the room pretty well, so it will be tricky to tell who was hit (even if people are wearing white) so just be aware of that as you go into it - it will be more about the experience than the competition!!

We purchased white dodge balls but they didn’t reflect the UV too well so we sprayed them with neon paint which worked brilliantly - orange and pink seemed to be the best. Then we sprayed some painters overalls for the judges to wear.

I rented the black lights from http://www.blankextremeentertainment.com/ they are super helpful and can advise how many you'll need, at the time they charged $100 each.

They mail the lights to you a day or so prior to your event and then you mail them back in the same boxes etc. I paid for prepaid shipping labels (around $10 per unit) so the day after all I had to was stick the label on and Fedex them back.

Crank up the music, add a few siren lights or whatever strange lighting effects you have lying around from the last smoothie bar event you ran and that's it.

Super fun game to run in the middle of the night at camp!!

Student Leaders at Summer Camp

2011-03-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

Our Summer Camp has traditional only been available to students entering grades 9 through 12 that following Fall.

This year we are using a team made up of some of our current 12th graders to help us plan and execute Summer Camp. This has been offered to students that we feel will respond well to this type of task and training, who love camp and who have remained engaged and active in the ministry through their Senior year.

Not only does this increase number of students that camp is available to, it also provides a unique training opportunity. These Student Leaders will follow a fairly intensive leadership track at camp that balances working to run camp with being spiritually fed and challenged at the same time. They will be stretched in terms of leadership, responsibility and in their relationship with Jesus. In addition to meeting together to plan they will have their own debrief/devotional track that runs parallel to the other students. Plus we get the benefit of their creative input and energy!

It'll be hard work but hugely rewarding and I can't wait to see how it turns out! At the end of camp student leaders will receive a letter of recommendation from HSM (plus an incredible week to finish their time in HSM).

Here's a question...

2011-03-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

I received a question regarding rooming in a hotel at a student minsitry event so I thought I'd share....

Q: I'm contacting some of the other bigger churches to ask a question on how you organize rooms on retreats when it comes to hotel rooms. Recently we had a concern from two parents about one of our last trips. One was worried if there was no adult in the room who would keep someone from bullying her son. The other parents concern was she didn't want an adult sleeping in the same room as her middle school son. Do you put only students in a room together or do you put students and one adult? And what is your ultimate reasons behind your decision?

A: I have run events for both Junior High and High School Students using hotels. For Junior High we would always have an adult in each room. I request 2 Queen beds (4 students) and then usually provide an air mattress for the leader. For High School events I have had a leader overseeing 2 rooms, usually with an adjoining door if possible but this isn’t my ideal. Usually the co-leader would look after the additional room.

We have used hotel suites before that have a bedroom with 2 Queens and then a pullout in the living room which separates leaders/students. All our leaders have been cleared and fingerprinted by DoJ and interviewed by our staff before they are approved to be leaders in our ministry.

In my previous church in the UK we wouldn’t put adults and children together but I also wouldn’t have used a hotel unless I could have exclusive use of it (or at least the entire floor). Unfortunately you have to gauge your culture and then defend your decision.

Any other thoughts?

So...Cookies vs Coke

2010-11-22T11:15:00.000-08:00

At the start of the year we held a parent reception at the launch of a new year of Student Life Groups.

My brief was fairly simple..."Create an environment to allow parents to connect with ministry staff and each other, hear the vision for the year ahead and pray for their students"

My budget was around <$1 per person and I had about 24hrs to pull it together.

Some of my team were convinced that we need to provide a snack (preferably cookies) for parents. My reluctance was that to make cookies or cupckaes look appealing you need a lot (either quantity or budget) and then you are often left with a ton of excess food.

We had hot weather at the time of this event (thanks SoCal) so I landed on a simple soft-drinks reception outside. Attendance for these type of events are difficult to predict but excess drinks can either be returned or stored for future use.

I borrowed some kiddie pools form childrens' ministry, filled them with ice and added bottled soft drinks. We made centerpieces using balloons left over from another event. I bought all those soft drinks that people love but never buy (people went nuts over an ice cold coke in a glass bottle) which made it a pleasant treat for parents on a warm evening.

Add in lots of cheap bottled water, some up-lighters, chilled music and some grade signs made out of photographs of students (frames borrowed from adult ministries) and you have a reception.

The highlight was parents gathering up in groups based on their students grade and praying for our ministry, for their students relationship with God and for the year ahead. It was super powerful.

Here's a few guidelines I loosely stick to for this kind of event...

1. Keep it simple - you don't need to put on an elaborate song and dance just create something that appears professional and thought through.

2. Keep it short - parents are the busiest people I know, acknowledge that and don't keep them longer than they want to stay.

3. Show you care - make it heartfelt, be ready to work the crowd and be available not just for formal questions but be personal.

So...Life Group Retreat

2010-11-08T21:05:00.000-08:00

Last Friday we held a Life Group Retreat. "Life Groups" are our version of small groups for high school students named to emphasize the importance of sharing life together.

The retreat was simple. Leaders register their group and each leader really planned the overnighter for their own students (transport, games, dinner, activities, Etc). I provided hotel accommodation that is located close to places to eat and things to do. We ran a very short program at the beginning of the evening to give away a few prizes and to help those newer leaders feel supported and not on their own.

Details:
Purpose: To provide an environment for Life Group Leaders to spend quality relational time with their students. Primarily aimed at Freshman or newly formed groups to give them a good head start in relationship building.

Cost: $49 per student (Leader cost covered by student fees)

Accommodation: 4 people to a room, I chose a RedLion hotel where 95% of all the rooms are identical with 2 Queen beds. Pool, fire pits, lounge/lobby area.

Meeting space: Complimentary use of meeting room (I brought my own PA system)

Catering: Groups arranged to meet for dinner on their way to the hotel Friday night, this was not included in the $49. Hot Buffet breakfast included in rooms rate.

Transportation: Groups arranged their own transportation to and from the hotel (30mins drive)

A few thoughts...

1. If we do it again I would rename it "Life Group Overnighter" or "Life Group Hangout" or something that gives a better indication of the low-key nature of the event and doesn't encroach upon our programmed events (like Winter Camp and Summer Camp)

2. It is worth shopping around for hotels and a personal visit will help.

3. Check if the hotel has a rewards program.

4. When you submit the room list, request that girls and guys are on different floors.

5. As trip leader arrive hours earlier than the students/leaders, you will have to reorganize a few rooms around and fix a few errors.

6. Be proactive. I usually check with the front desk during the evening/night to see of there have been any problems. This gives a good impression and helps you head off any potential problems early.

7. Keep the programmed part of the event short. We met together and played a quiz that gave everyone the chance to in something for their group (ranging from a giant bag of popcorn to a deck of cards). Students will be hyped up to stay in a hotel so anything more than that will be tough. It's just a chance to check everyone is ok.

8. Keep your guidelines to minimum. If you are asking leaders to run the show for their group...let them. My only rule was to respect the hotel and follow their leaders direction.

9. Give leaders contact cards. I have a cell phone designated for events so that I can leave the ringtone on LOUD all night.

So...Scholarships

2010-11-08T20:58:00.000-08:00

Thought this was an interesting Guest post by Geoff Stewart (Student Ministries Pastor at Peace Portal Alliance Church) on morethandodgeball.com (by boss's blog)

GUEST POST: To Subsidize or not to Subsidize

November 6th, 2010

A common challenge we face as youth workers is the decision of whether or not to subsidize an event or trip. The reasons for doing this could include, keeping the cost per student down, allowing more students to come or perhaps paying for a single student that cannot afford to come at all. There are a couple of things we should consider before do so.....

To read more click here

So...the storeroom

2010-10-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

After hosting a successful event last night (our third annual Pumpkinfest) I was reminded of certain items that are valuable to have in storage to be used for events. If you're anything like every church I know you are limited on storage space but if you can find a shelf or two, here's what I would suggest putting on them...

1. Mason jars, these are great for serving drinks, filling with candy, using as centerpieces (we've filled with them with coffee beans before), use them as a vase, fill them with colored water or gels, you can use them to hold pens or collect donations. Hugely versatile, fairly hard wearing and pretty cheap.

2. Rope lights. Definitely not the cheapest thing to have in storage but they are often more affordable than Christmas lights (with individual bulbs), easier to store because they don't get tangled and give a great effect. For Pumpkinfest we used orange but you could buy white to up-light something or line a table with them or even snake them around food on a buffet.

3. Whether you run large events or small events, often or frequently you should consider putting together an "Event tub". Mine has staple guns (which go missing frequently), flashlights, zip ties, caution tape, rope, tape, duct tape, box cutter, glue, permanent markers. It doesn't need to have expensive stuff in it but just basic tools that are super valuable during set up. Try not to pull form this stash between events...you will be grateful you didn't during event set up!

4. Cash boxes. This is fairly obvious but they are expensive (for something that you rarely use) store them well, borrow them if you can.

5. Halogen work lights. Again not the most inexpensive item but worth the investment over time. We use them at evening check-in, to light up signs, to flood light areas and even to create a more intimate environment by pointing them at the ceiling or wall etc. We also use them for work projects on various mission trips. The one pictured is the type I use but you can buy the same set without the tripod which is much easier to store and more durable.

6. Flashlights. Depends on the events that you run but you can often pick up packs of mini LED flashlights like these cheaply at hardware stores (Home Depot often sells packs of 10 for around $15). They're great for leaders to use during a dance party or outside...and judging on the number that go "missing" at every event, they are probably a great volunteer appreciation gift too!!

7. Galvanized tubs. These are fairly inexpensive and you can fill them with ice for drinks, or put candles in them, use them as a drop point for info cards and even store event equipment in them.

8. Hurricane lanterns are pretty cheap (especially online) and with some tiki torch oil are a great addition to a check-in table. They give a little functional light but are perfect decor for many evening outdoor events.

9. Burlap. This is pretty inexpensive and really versatile for table decor especially used with Mason Jars.

10. Extension Cord. You can never have enough of these and multi-socket adapters. They aren't cheap but if you can keep a few long cords (50ft-100ft) stashed away it'll save you in the long run. Put one or two in your event equipment tub.

Any other "must haves" or items that you are pleased you kept and use frequently? I'd love to add to my storeroom!

So...Budgets

2010-10-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

Inspired by my last post I started thinking about budgeting....

Here are 25 of my thoughts about event budgets...

1. Nobody will care about your budget, until you overspend. The details of your pre-event budget are for your benefit, to help you succeed and to show your lead Pastor that you have things under control. In the same way nobody will help you protect it either. When you land the budget well, it will be perceived as a team effort; when you don't, expect to take the brunt of the fallout.

2. Start with the big ticket items. I always begin with accommodation, food and transportation.

3. Round up. Always.

4. Be realistic. Despite what your ideal price point is, if it can't be done for $x then figure out what it can be done for. Prepare your team leader with this news BEFORE heading into the event.

5. Factor in tips. When booking charter buses I always ask for the tip to be added to the contract (usually $50 each way per bus). It's one less thing to worry about on the day and another charge that can mount up.

6. Check Toll fares (if applicable). Avoid them if you can but make sure that you drivers know that!

7. Ask questions BEFORE signing a contract. When booking a venue for a large event (like camp) you are likely to be booking a year or so in advance. Putting thought into program and schedule in at the same time will help you in the long run. You will be able to ask about A/V rental, seminar rooms, parking costs, damages policies. Don't feel like you're being a nuisance, remember, you are the client.

8. Add a line for staff costs. You may think that you can do without it, and sometimes you can, but if you have a team of staff or volunteers working till midnight trying to put little Johnny in a cabin with his friends you may want to buy them Starbucks...budget for it!

9. Gas price. Work out your mileage, figure out the gas price then add at least another 50%.

10. Be strict. If you delegate out sections of your event (Chapel program for example) give that team a strict budget (keep a secret buffer if you can)

11. Think about whether you need to make a scouting trip before the event. You may need to factor in money for this as well.

12. Do your research. If you are thinking about providing a "takeaway" at your event (perhaps a water bottle or wristband with the theme Bible verse printed on it) then figure out a realistic cost, don't just guess.

13. Look for fixed cost items (rather than costs related to group size). If you can find items or activities that are a fixed cost this will help you as once you reach your target number, additional registrants will be bonus.

14. Factor in leader/volunteer cost. If you cover the cost of volunteers at your event, make sure you factor that in early.

15. A large event needs a buffer of 5-10% of the total budget. This will hurt to add but it will hurt you more if you don't. If it's the first time you've run this event or the first time at a new venue make your buffer ~10%, if you've done it before you might get away with ~5%.

16. Once you have you cost per person, look at what the most attractive closest number is....if your cost is $300 could you get away with $299? If your cost is $354, consider going to $359.

17. Remember scholarships and prizes. If you (or your lead Pastor) like to give away a ticket to camp figure out where that money will come from. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you wont do this if you know that in 6 months time you will!

18. Use cash. When we are on a mission trip we often take cash and avoid using credit cards. Once the cash is gone then you're done. The downside of this is you have to keep receipts.

19. Office Supplies. Sounds trivial but if you want everyone to write a prayer request on a post-it note and stick it to board you'll suddenly find yourself buying post-its and sharpies...these costs mount up.

20. Think about printing costs. A camp notebook might be tradition, but do the printing costs and labor involved outweigh the benefit? If the majority of your students doodle in them and throw them away, consider writing a "Camp daily" and post it through the dorms every morning. It'll give you more last-minute flexibility and save you on expensive printing and binding costs.

21. Combine costs. Is there any other events on you calendar (or another ministry's) that could benefit from sharing a cost. Could the Junior High ministry use your recreation equipment and would they be willing to split the cost?

22. Beg, borrow (but probably avoid stealing). Does the children's ministry have equipment you can borrow?

23. Check and account for any "hidden" fees. I used online registration for Summer Camp last year without confirming the processing fee for credit cards. We assumed it was around $1 per person, it actually came to about 3% of all charges made (a difference of over $3000)!!

24. Negotiate discounts early. Last Summer we spent around $2000 on Pizza at Little Caesars (this was budgeted for) in appreciation of our business they gave me an anticlimactic free pizza(!), when I asked for can of coke they obliged and charged me an additional $0.80!!! Negotiate, get it in writing if you can.

25. Review your budget constantly. Your projected budget is only the beginning.

Let me know if you have any more to add!!!

So...The big 5 of Youth Ministry Events

2010-10-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

I currently work on the High School Ministry team at Saddleback Church. My primary role on the team is that of "Event Coordinator". I love pretty much everything about this role. Much of the organization and big picture thinking of events comes naturally to me and so, even though I feel like I'm making it up most of the time, I thought I'd start sharing some of my learnings here.

So..what are the big 5 of Youth Ministry Event Planning:

1. Know the purpose of the event
Why are you doing what you are doing? You need to figure this out early on. It may be an event that you've come up with yourself or one that you're planning for another team member. If it's the latter, ask! If it's the former, check that there is a point and it isn't simply something that you will find fun (though hopefully that will play at least a part). Write a mission statement, one sentence that sums up the event that can come back to to help you stay on track.
Even for a simple parent reception ask yourself what the intended outcome is...do you hope to meet parents yourself, present something to them, help them connect to each other, honor them as ministry partners or just take a moment to pray.
Never put an event on the calendar simply because it was there last year.

2. Know WHO the event is for.
Parents, Students, Staff, Volunteers, Newcomers, well connected students, Christians, the whole youth group...
This is vital. If you plan a camp and invite non-Christians then your teaching must reflect that. If you want to run a discipleship retreat, figure out how to attract the specific demographic you're after and tailor the retreat for them.

3. Work out a budget
Do this early on. Don't fall into the mindset of "money doesn't govern my ministry" because in many situations (like on the paper report you present to your senior pastor) it does!
Start with the big costs like Venue, Transportation and catering and then add in the next level of costs like a guest speaker etc.
Remember to ask questions when booking all of these, never assume anything - your budget will hate you for it. Check what you should tip a bus driver (I always ask to have the tip included in the contract), factor in room tax, check to see what A/V equipment is available and whether there is an extra charge. Don't feel like you're asking too many questions, remember, you are the client!

4. Promote
Be strategic. If students don't know about it, then they wont come to it. Promotion is the first step to success, it takes time, effort, energy and enthusiasm. A good promotion campaign is effective and forgotten once the event is done. A poor one is disastrous. Be creative, be clear and once you've grabbed their attention make the next step as simple as possible. Consider online registration (but factor in a cost if there is one).

5. Get the team on board
You may have come up with an incredible idea for an event that you want to reveal at the last second. But if you keep your cards close to your chest you will struggle to pull it off. Share your ideas with your team (whoever that is: paid staff, volunteers, parents), get them excited about what your planning. Give them chunks of the event to own. Delegate as much as you can of the big events. Share the vision, don't assume the team is on board...nobody is as excited about your event as you are and it's your job to change that.

So...Lost finale

2010-05-24T00:19:00.000-07:00

At our lost party we had three challenges...
1. Compete in a Lost trivia quiz
2. Design a Lost themed shirt
3. Write a Lost themed poem

Here is my poetic entry...

Ways to die on LOST

If you managed to live through, a crash killing your friends
Don’t rest on your luck, there’s more ways to end

You might fall from up high, that’s gravitational law
Or you could be destroyed by a fast meteor

You could fall from a building or jump from a freighter
a lack of a constant will help you meet your maker

by Poison gas or perhaps Dynamite
from explosive C4 or a simple fist fight

A freighter might blow up, you could be held under water
or an aeroplane engine could lead to your slaughter

Gunshots and Strangling, Stab wounds a plenty
Or kinda less glamorous, pushed off a balcony

Impaled on a knife in a kitchen appliance
C-Spine injuries beyond medical science

Drowned in pool or be hit by a car
be trapped in a small plane that fell just too far

You might be Buried alive or Impaled on a stake
killed by a smoke monster or simply punched in the face

A nose bleed might get you, or a mean polar bear
A Flaming arrow might hit you as it flies through the air

If you escape Land mines and axe wounds discretely
Your Heart still might give in and just stop completely

It seems there a many dangers about
Things that will make you scream, struggle and shout

There is still some hope, after all’s said and done
You just CANNOT die when you’re hit on the head with a gun!

I didn't win the poetry contest but was voted best shirt, I might even post a picture of my shirt depicting the simultaneous existence both on and off the island.

So...I'm an Uncle

2010-05-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

My brand new niece was born on Saturday May 15th, 17:39pm (GMT), 6lbs 4/ 2.84kg, 48cm

Lucy Elizabeth Collings...Isn't she the cutest thing in the world?!?!?
We've never met (and wont be able to meet for a few months yet), but I love her already!

So...the Styrofoam Cup

2010-05-08T23:18:00.000-07:00

When I fly alone, I rarely talk to anyone. In the airport I drink coffee, read and peruse through various stores (carefully pacing myself during long layovers). On board the aircraft, I will exchange pleasantries with the people sitting near me on my flight but I will avoid being engaged in an actual conversation if I can help it. I request an aisle seat, I wear headphones and generally watch TV for the whole flight. I've always found it difficult to sleep on planes. All this lends itself to many hours of reflection and inner thought. I discuss things with myself. I silently comment about the people I watch. I complain inside my mind about interruptions to my media of choice. I replay conversations and revisit situations.

The turning point is when the flight attendant serves drinks. It seems that there is something about coasting along 37,000 feet above sea-level that triggers a mysterious mechanism in the universal passenger subconscious that makes salted peanuts the most desirable entrée this side of In & Out cheeseburgers and a half-cup of Canada Dry the finest carbonated beverage on (or above) planet earth.

But I always ask for coffee on the plane partly because I enjoy coffee but mainly, and this is a little odd, because drinking a half-serving of substandard coffee from a Styrofoam (UK: polystyrene) cup always provides me with a sober moment of reality and perspective. In those few moments of lukewarm enjoyment I always find myself staring at the bottom of the cup after every sip. I laugh at myself for the things I once thought mattered, I recall dreams and plans that I made days, weeks, months or years ago but that never came to fruition. I think of the future, the opportunities ahead. In just a few moments I realign my concerns and desires. I feel as though the world stops for a moment, a moment that is always contemplative, serious but tremendously positive.I'm left staring at the bottom of the empty, coffee stained Styrofoam cup. I smirk, breathe a short laugh at myself and then get back to not talking to people.

I wont share my thoughts of that recent moment here but will perhaps encourage you to take a Styrofoam cup moment every now and then.

So...Mondays

2010-05-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

I don't work on Mondays and today was a perfect day off.

The sun shone all day, I read a book, watched TV, listened to music and spent a lot of time outside. I enjoyed drinking ice cold water dispensed directly from the fridge with my own choice of cubed or crushed ice. I loved that the only sound I could hear was the water feature in the back yard. I even remembered to switch my phone alerts to "sabbath" so that I didn't get email alerts.

The last few years has taught me that I could live anywhere in the world, wherever God leads me to serve Him...but there's definitely some great perks living in California!

So...online registration

2010-05-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

We've just about got through the first weekend of Summer Camp online registration. Here's what I've learned...

Technology is your best friend when it's working and your worst enemy when it isn't
Life demands too many passwords and usenames
No matter how many possible scenarios you prepare for, there will ALWAYS be a student or a parent that will present just one more
A paperless registration process is incredible, despite the minor hiccups we've had, the set up looks clean and professional (and I'm not carrying large wads of cash and checks around with me)
Online registration seems to encourage people to email questions rather than speak to someone in person or by phone, allowing me to respond within hours
NOBODY enters telephone numbers in the following format (xxx)xxx-xxxx which is unfortuante because that's the only acceptable format for our system
Old people type SUPER slow
Young people assume that every monitor is a touch screen, despite the presence of a keyboard
Despite all the fancy programs we have installed on our computers, the easiest and quickest way to get an image onto a screen is good ol' fashioned Powerpoint.
Sitting on a bar stool but working on a regular height table is a very quick way to develop pain in your neck and spine

Overall I'm super happy with how it's going, just a few kinks to iron out and then keep praying for those sign ups to start pouring in!

So...being disorganiSed

2010-05-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

I like to be organiSed, possibly a little too much. I think this is one of the reasons I work well running large events. I like order and systems and plans. I like things to match in some way or another, I like symmetry and patterns.

We just finished installing shelves into our new closet space...I really want to buy new matching storage stubs but I also enjoy not spending money frivolously so haven't.

Last month I led a mission trip to New Mexico and we took 200 people, out of the four charter buses, one was slightly older and different....that was irritating.

When I helped lead a Summer Camp many years ago (FAB for those reading who remember the LCET days) and as a gift one of the other leaders arranged all the coloUred cups in such a way that each table had their own coloUr rather than a mismatched non-complimenting array of bright tones...I almost cried it was so great.

I could never wear socks that didn't match, one year for Christmas I was given a set of 7 pairs with the days of the week on. I hardly wore them because I could never find the right day.

There's no real point to this post other than I was thinking about this yesterday as I was working to get our Summer Camp registration online (solely online, there is no other way to sign up). It's up and running but I had to ask about a million time for "one last change" which I'm sure was not only annoying for the IT guy but was killing me for being so disorganiSed.

And this is only the beginning! Summer Camp only 8 weeks away and we have the possibility of taking 700 people so it's going to be a busy few weeks! I might need to get some matching file folders or something to help me through!

So Mother's Day...

2010-04-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

There are a few differences to get used to when living in a different country to where you grew up. Some of these are easy to adapt to (driving on the right or using dollars instead of pounds for example). Other differences are much easier to forget...like when Mother's Day is.

In the UK, Mothering Sunday is the fourth Sunday of Lent (March 14th 2010) and is traditionally the Sunday where people would meet in their "Mother Church", the cathedral of the diocese. More recently, it has adopted the name and nature of the US equivalent.

This year in the US, Mother's Day is May 9th. So my usually dependence on Greeting Cards advertising is not helpful.

So inspired by Allison's recent blog post, I have purchased a belated UK Mother's Day gift (or an advance US Mother's Day gift) from Charity:water.

I'm not asking you to give, but I would encourage you to poke around their website.

So the result of my musings...

2010-04-26T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have posted very rarely over the past few months. One of the reasons for this is that I have felt the need to process what God is saying to me before I can really develop some answers to my previous posts. Below is an overview of where God led me as I thought and prayed through the questions...Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?

Purpose

My purpose is to glorify God through my thoughts, words and actions, to maintain and develop a deep personal relationship with Him and share His love with the world.

Values

Identity: spending quality time with God

Integrity: maintaining God’s standards in life and leadership

Growth: continual learning and developing

Leadership: being an effective steward in ministry

Discipleship: nurturing others

Fellowship: sharing life with others

Encouragement: empowering others

Appreciation: showing gratitude towards others

Awareness: being aware of the needs in my immediate surroundings and the wider world

Advocacy: supporting and standing up for the broken, the needy, the hurting

Action: more than just thought and reflection, being someone of action, making vision a reality and meeting needs head on

Vision

As I continue my walk with Christ I dedicate myself to the following six principles:

In my life I will honoUr His authority

(by nurturing a deep relationship with Him)

In my service I will glorify His name

(by working selflessly and sacrificially to lead others to Him)

In my witness I will declare His grace

(by outwardly expressing my faith to the world)

In my leadership I will fulfil His mission

(by steering people towards His purpose)

In my relationships I will reflect His love

(by generating opportunities for fellowship, accountability and discipleship)

In my community & world I will be someone of action

(by turning vision to reality, plans into programs and by meeting the needs that God places on my heart

So...back from Kenya

2010-03-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

I want to write a debrief of our short mission trip to Africa. I want to explain how I feel when I'm in Africa. I want to describe every detail, every smile, every laugh, every story of hurt, of hope, of perseverance. I want to share a message of hope and faith from a country with so little. I want to verbaliSe what God has done in me through this trip to Africa, how He picked up where he left off when I was last there 8 years ago. I want to tell you about the role I see myself having in God's plan for Kitale...

That's what I want to do, but I don't have the words.

The words of the previous post to this one, that I wrote many months ago, echo in my heart...

Who am I?
Where am I?
What am I doing?

Who...Where...What

2009-11-04T23:32:00.000-08:00

I was recently challenged to consider the following questions...

Who am I?
Where am I?
What am I doing?

Although this seems simple enough at first glance, these questions have challenged me.

Who am I? Not "who do I what people to believe that I am", or "who do I wish I was" or "who will I one day become". What defines who we are?
Where am I? Not geographically, but in life, with regards to progression and growth. How do you measure where you are?
What am I doing? Who am I influencing, where is my energy spent, how am I making a difference?

Tonight we saw the new Hillsong movie "We're all in this together" and through the images and stories of a world in need I kept thinking of those three questions. We watched images of people hurting, struggling, fighting to survive. We heard stories of slavery, sexual exploitation and violent oppression. We saw the damage of hatred and the power of love.

As I begin to process the message of social injustice from the movie my thoughts have naturally turned to what I can do, where I could go and where I could start to make a difference. I can't help but consider how that affects my answers to those three questions...

Who am I?
Where am I?
What am I doing?

So...visiting the colonies

2009-10-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

I am currently in Australia enjoying golden beaches, warm ocean and avoiding all the hugely deadly creatures that this enormous island has to offer.

I have been to Australia before but prior to this visit I have lived in America for nearly two years which has given me a slightly different perspective on my trip. Australia is much more British in nature than I realized...

They use a lot of coins rather than banknotes (we do this in Britain too and think nothing of it but, when you're used to Dollar bills, carrying around large quantities of wagGon-wheel-sized pieces of gold bullion gets a little tiresome)
Eating out or even buying coffee forces you to ponder your financial buoyancy and makes you consider whether or not you ought to sell a kidney in order to enjoy a tasty treat (much like eating out in Britian). It's still worth noting that I have visited every coffee shop in this beach town and am recognized by the proprietors of at least 2 of them from my frequent visits.
They drive on the left (as they should)
They serve "chips" instead of "fries" and to enjoy them with a condiment such as tomato ketchup you will need to reach for more gold bullion
A soda is not refillable and ice is rationed in a way similar to eggs during World War 2 (Britain also has a habit of serving soft drinks in small glasses with a single ice cube but Australia has a hot climate so much less of an excuse)

However unlike Britain...

The ocean is warm
The beach is clean
The roads are NOT packed bumper to bumper with cars desperately trying to find a route to work that avoids "the trouble spot around the M25"

Overall this has been an awesome trip and there's still a few days to go...perhaps I'll head out to buy another coffee.

So...this was odd

2009-09-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

I was looking through Amazon.com today for a cash box to use at an event we have coming up.

I realize that many local stores sell cash boxes but we already own 5 and it goes against everything I believe in to buy ones that don't match. In fact one of the 5 we have doesn't match but I was going to use that one in a different area, so it has a different purpose and therefore is allowed to not match...it all makes sense really...sort of.

Anyway, amazon told me this piece of retail trivia to help me with my decision...
So if I understand this correctly, people "frequently" buy a cash box along with a Black Satin sheet set! Does that seem a little awkward to anyone else?!?

So...back in the Motherland

2009-08-20T08:17:00.001-07:00

My first thought as I arrived back into London was how strange everyone's accent seemed, have I really been gone that long? I'm guessing so, nobody can understand what I'm saying! I'm used to getting that faintly confused look form Americans but not Londoners!

To my relief, however, many things seem much the same.

Brits are still obsessed by the weather either commenting on current weather, predicting future weather or discussing in great detail the weather pattern over this summer compared to previous years. I have been in the country for about 3 days and have counted 5 conversations regarding some element of meterology.

Brits are still genuinely excited by the concept of a bland cookie* and a beige colored milky hot drink.

Gas** is still ridiculously expensive

This year we have opted to follow the cricket coverage on the radio rather than the television. This is more like people merely having chat after a dose of NyQuil than it is about sport commentary. Here's a few moments that I listened to today
"here comes Trot, short cover, extra cover, mid shot on the short side and he's just scored 4. Great shot but marginal change of feel, 189 for 4. He goes again bowls on a full leg and just spooned of the outside edge, not the normal drive much more like short extra. They just can't hang balls on the off stump. Here comes Clark outside the off stump, it's a dire battle at the moment."
I'm sure being British I should be able to follow all this but it makes no sense to me whatsoever.

*british readers read "biscuit"
**british readers read "petrol"

So...Mystery Mobile Mission

2009-07-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

Today we took over 40 Junior High students on a Mystery Mobile Mission. It's pretty much exactly what it sounds like. We go to a few mystery locations and serve the community.
Today we spent some time serving the elderly
being a registered nurse working with the elderly isn;t particulalry daunting to me (though it has been a while) but to a Junior High student it takes a little more work.

My favoUrite observations...

A group of students were playing cards with some of the elderly residents and I asked what game they were playing...the students replied that they started playing "21" but one of their opponents fell asleep mid-game so they started playing "war". The sleeping opponent never noticed.

Apparently old people enjoy guinea pigs...apparently guinea pigs enjoy peeing on students.

One team of students were given the "opportunity" to sing while an elderly lady accompanied them on the piano...she was a strict taskmaster and they did not meet the standard nor the dedication she was apparently looking for...even after she made them spit out their gum...but at least they now know the words to the "Sound of Music" soundtrack.

One lady told me she needed to be served corn bread about as much as she needed a hole in the head.

After playing chequers with a student for nearly an hour an elderly man asked the student if this is what he would normally play for fun...the student replied no...thank goodness the man said, I hate this game!

It's funny when old people cuss at each other...that's all I'm gonna say.

So...awkwardness

2009-05-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

I do enjoy the odd awkward moment or picture so couldn't resist this one that Ryanne pointed out last weekend.

As part of Mother's Day we offered free family portrait pictures at various locations around the church campus. There was one in front of the waterfall, one by the baptismal, one in front of the palm trees and then there was this one... We have a multi-million dollar building on a landscaped campus and this was the best backdrop we could up with? An awkward pose just seemed appropriate!

So...another car post.

2009-05-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

This week my car reached a milestone...it has driven over 250000 miles! It was such a poignant moment I had to pull over and take a picture! and just in case it was hard to read from that distance here's another...
I think this is pretty impressive, especially as it one point I wasn't sure that it would get that far!

So...you thought that was good

2009-04-28T22:57:00.001-07:00

Last weekend Lisa, myself and Zack were featured on the church bulletin. Here is the picture for you to enjoy, it was at the beginning of the sunrise service on Easter morning.It was such a treat to be on the bulletin we thought we would recreate the moment at work todayWe sent our new picture in to be considered for the bulletin, I think it should make the cut!

And yes we are very cool and yes that emotion you are feeling is probably jealousy.

So...famous at last!

2009-04-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

If you happened to see the front cover of the Saddleback Church bulletin this week you will see why this weekend was the best ever!! A few of us have a little competition to get our picture on the service bulletin. So throughout the week I take every opportunity to be in photographs taken by our "Pics" ministry. I particularly look for those "money shot" opportunities: I stand with minority groups, I shake hands with the elderly, face the camera while helping up children who have fallen over and smile and cheer around the baptismal. Every week I scan the bulletin to see if I made the cut.

This week over 22,00 people took the bulletin home with this picture on the front...Lisa, myself and Zack were rewarded for attending the sunrise service on Easter morning (complete with unbranded coffee cups).

I like to think there's a little something for everyone in this picture...an "amuse-bouche" of photographic delight.

Saddleback Church...You are welcome

So...for some people rides are concerning

2009-04-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

While in line for the Toy Story ride at California Adventure a man wearing an overpowering amount of cologne turned to us and asked about the ride.

First he was concerned that we had been waiting f0r 35 minutes when the estimated wait time was in fact 25 minutes.

Second he was very concerned about whether he would have to walk at all during the ride, this fear was heightened when he saw people climbing stairs in order to exit the ride (we had to talk him down at this point)

Thirdly he was concerned exactly what the ride might entail

Then the cycle would start again!

So I did the only thing I thought I could do....I took a picture with my phone! So if you see this guy around be aware, he's a Chatty Chatterson!

So...car surgery

2009-03-31T10:21:00.000-07:00

This week my car is undergoing "surgery". My car is very old and has driven 249100 miles in it's lifetime. I'm not sure that he'll make it through the procedure, it may be his time. I have already signed the "Do Not Resuscitate" order, and requested that no heroic attempts should be made to prolong the life of my 1995 Toyota Tercel (I think car years are similar to dog years so that's pretty old).
Now I know how George O'Malley felt last week when Izzie Stevens went into sur gery: Did he really take the chance to say goodbye? Did he promise to be there when she showed instant recovery from the most impressive brain surgery I've ever seen? (not only did they not need to shave her head they also had no requirement for Nasgastric tubes, central lines or pretty much any other monitoring equipment - take that UK National Health Service).The difference is that if my car passes on to the great scrap yard in the sky it'll probably be a good thing.

So...apparently dogs eat dessert

2009-03-21T22:42:00.001-07:00

I felt like an ice cream treat this evening and found this gem in the freezer...For a moment I considered eating it until I looked a little closer...Not sure beef ice cream is really my thing!

So...here's a thing...

2009-03-16T12:07:00.000-07:00

Many women wear makeup all day yet still have to reapply new makeup every day - it doesn't permanently stain their face. So how come when I wear face paint for a few hours (see previous post) I now have a permanent red band across my eyes!?! According to Bethany it looks a little like I got sunburned whilst wearing a ninja mask!

So...are you ready for School Wars?

2009-03-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

Meet one of the "Gladiators"
That's right, you can be impressed.
Our Junior High series "School Wars" starts this weekend!!!

So...yet another communictation error

2009-02-24T23:04:00.001-08:00

I was getting changed in the locker room at the gym (trying to be a little quick so I wouldn't be late for my Junior High small group). There was some form of Body Combat type class well underway in the studio adjacent to the locker room being led by an overly exuberant trainer who kept shouting obscure phrases like "till the turkey's done".

I was just thinking how this seemed a little weird when a guy turned to me and began a conversation about the loud trainer (which included a number of swear words that I have chosen to omit).

Him....."Only in America"
Me....."Perhaps he can't hear what he's saying" (the 1st lighthearted thing that came to mind)
Him....."He couldn't get a real job if he tried"
Me....."I suppose it's kind of a fun job, at least he doesn't pay for gym membership" (trying to sound fair yet non-confrontational - he was bigger than me)
Him....."I can't believe that people stand for it"
Me....."Each to their own I suppose" (this seemed a little over the top so I tried to sound diplomatic)
Him....."I don't what will happen to the country now"
Me....."haha" (nervous laughter - I thought this was totally over the top)
Him....."It's a complete joke, the economy is just going to get worse"
Me....."hahaha" (confused laughter - perhaps he's trying to be funny)
Him....."He doesn't write anything he says himself, he probably can't write"
Me....."ah well" (totally confused at the relevance)
Him....."it's the most important job in the world and he's messing it up, along with the country"
Me....."huh" (I mean this guy clearly holds exercise as a higher priority than I do but seriously?!?!)
Him....."what's he saying now?..."

At this point he walked over to the TV set that I hadn't even realized was on and turned up the volume to hear what President Obama was saying (the person he had been referring to all the time).

Having realized my mistake at who was the subject of our conversation I did what any other self respecting person would do...I ran away!

So..I stand corrected

2009-02-21T10:03:00.001-08:00

That's all.

So...I thought this was ironic

2009-02-20T22:55:00.001-08:00

Whilst walking through Target today I saw this on the sale rack....can XXL really be athletic fit?

So...another communictation error

2009-02-17T11:46:00.000-08:00

I was speaking at our Junior High services this past weekend and as part of my intorduction I wanted to use some classic British snacks so I made my way to the nearest British food store (which is in Laguna Niguel incase you were wondering). It is not the nicest place to visit but does provide some classic British treats such as "crisps", "sweets" and "biscuits".

I was specifically lloking for "Ready Salted Hula Hoops" which would have gone extremely well with the talk but when I looked I could only find "salt and vinegar". I asked the guy in the store if he could help but ironically he couldn't understand what I was saying!! I checked, and yes, I was speaking english.

I tried to rephrase my question a few times but without luck! I can concede that my accent is a little tricky to understand in California but surely I should be understood in the British store!! I mean, there ought to be some kind of special handshake or sign (possibly that of a teapot) to enter the secrets of the store!!

I left deflated with my less than ideal salt and vinegar hula hoops.

So...I got my haircut (again)

2009-02-08T16:00:00.000-08:00

I have posted about getting my haircut before (here). This time was a little different but a little less successful.

Firstly it was the same person that has cut my hair the past 3 times (the first time was as I have previously described). It would seem that on the 3rd visit we are now so well established in the client/hairdresser relationship that I am considered family and greeted with a hug. Which is a little odd in itself as our total contact time must account for around 60mins (I've had longer conversations with people that I still regard as relative strangers). Regardless of this, the experience has led me to offer some advice to any up and coming hair stylists...

Please, please, please learn what "a quarter inch" means (a little less than this poison dart frog)My hairdresser did not and now my hair is unnecessarily short. As a result I don't trust my own reflection at the moment, I look shifty and strange. Perhaps I should send her one of these frogs so that she'll have a point of reference in the future.

So...a new day has dawned

2009-02-08T15:56:00.000-08:00

The inevitable has finally happened...
My supply of Starbucks giftcards has run dry. I will once again have to pay for my coffee like regular people (well not regular people - I still have a goldcard). It's a sad sad day.

So...strimmers

2009-01-22T00:55:00.000-08:00

Most mornings I wake up to an irregular loud engine noise. It is not a constant engine, like a car running, and at first I thought it was a motorbike revving. I discovered it was one of these... So my initial thought process on most mornings goes like this: Did I sleep on the freeway? Did I join a gang of Bikers? Why is someone using one of these so early? Why do they need to undertake this job every other day? Are they being deliberately spiteful? Why on earth is it called a "Weed Wacker" when it is clearly a "Strimmer"?

So...a request for the new President.

2009-01-22T00:37:00.000-08:00

Dear President Obama,
I realize that you may be very busy at the moment moving house and everything but could you have a word with people at Chevrolet. I recently drove the Wildside Suburban and on my return I bought a Starbucks drink. As I also bought one for Bethany I used the handy dual cup holder. It would seem that this was a huge error as a Grande Tea Latte made a break for freedom and launched itself through the passenger window. At least that is what would have happened if the window had not been closed. Instead it hit the glass and exploded all over the inside. I did not enjoy cleaning it up (please note the coloUr of the foam on the upholstery foam can and cloth which was originally white) I also do not enjoy the stagnent, stale dairy smell that now lingers - similar to the smell of vomit in an elevator*. This only compounds the irritation that the door handle on the inside of the driver's door broke making a quick escape from the putrid smell extremely difficult.
Please advise Chevrolet that their cup holder design is ineffective and far below the standards that I am sure you wish to uphold in this country.
Many Thanks.

(*UK translation - "lift")

So...language barrier.

2009-01-09T18:17:00.000-08:00

Last night the Wildside Team played "Celebrity".
It would seem that my British background does not lend itself to play this game in America. This became obvious when some of my chosen "famous people" turned out to be unknown to the rest of the group. However, the nail on the coffin was my attempt to remember the name of the rap artist from Jaime's description resulting in me shouting
"Oh..erm..oh...er...Biggie littlie?...no?...er...Biggie smallie?!??".

So...what exactly is going on here?

2008-12-29T10:51:00.000-08:00

My financial support is raised in Pounds Sterling (GBP).
Sterling is currently the third-largest reserve currency, after the US dollar and the euro. The pound sterling is the fourth-most-traded currency in the foreign exchange market after the US dollar, the euro, and the Japanese yen.

However currently...This is not good. When I arrived in California a year ago 1GBP = 2USD. It's like getting a sudden pay cut for no reason whatsoever!

So...my new best friend

2008-12-29T10:42:00.000-08:00

As I have mentioned before, my host family are incredible. Not just "ok" or simply "nice" but incredible. They are some of my favoUrite people in the world. Amongst other things, they gave me a new best friend for Christmas...
Imagine all the caffeinated memories we will share - Starbucks you have my heart (not least because of the Barista who was more than happy to transfer the balance from my 6 other gifts cards onto my new Gold Card - so many of you know me so well)

So...to clarify

2008-12-22T12:55:00.001-08:00

In England we spell things a little differently.

We enjoy using the vowel "U" - especially when we wish to honoUr our favoUrite coloUr
We enjoy moving letters around - especially when requesting a seat in the centRe of the theatRe
We enjoy spelling words in nonsensical ways - especially when buying new tYres for our cars.
We distrust the letter "Z" and much prefer "S" - especially when we wish to criticiSe or analySe

While looking up other fun language facts i discovered this one:

carburettor	carburetor	British pronunciation IPA: /ˌkɑːbəˈɹɛtə(ɹ)/; US IPA: /ˈkɑɹbəˌɹeɪtɚ/.

So pleased to have cleared that up?!?!?!?

We no longer use the vowel "E" unnecessarily at the end of words. You can no longer buy things from an "oldE englishE shopPE" unless the shop in question is themed for this very purpose.

...and as a side note to Susan Jones - I thank you for your efforts to highlight the different spellings of our languages on your site, however, British people may pay for items with a cheQUe but they would never deposit it in a banQUe! That one remains banK - perhaps you got carried away.

So...it's official

2008-12-22T12:32:00.001-08:00

After a week of conversations, faxes and emails to and from people in contact with the Congressman's Office we found out today that officially...(drum roll)...my visa application is...(wait for it)..."pending"! It is advisable that I do not leave the country at this time.

So basically, in a nutshell, after 7 months there has been no change. So I get to spend Christmas, and the foreseeable future, in California. Which isn't all bad - I mean, it takes a few moments but I can get used to looking at decorated palm trees and wearing sandals in December. It 's even raining today so very much like England!

So...this is Christmas

2008-12-13T12:21:00.000-08:00

For those that don't know, I have the best host family in world. They recently asked me to write a Christmas list which is something I have never done before. I don't even know where to begin. Is there some kind of list etiquette that I don't know about? Can I put things like this on it? How specific does it need to be?

While I think on this for a while here's someone else's Christmas list that I enjoyed...My favoUrite part is "a panda bear that was just born yesterday"!!

so...roasting chesnuts on an open fire...

2008-12-11T07:45:00.000-08:00

Is there any other Christmas tradition more underused than this!! For "The 3" (event for Junior High Students) next week we want to roast chestnuts on an open fire. Having no idea how this is done I naturally looked to the fount of all knowledge - google. It looks pretty easy, cutting a cross on each seems important to "avoid exploding chestnuts". I wonder how we'll get on?

So...Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

My first American thanksgiving was a great one. I spent the day with good friends and eating great food. I have much to be thankful for over the past year and coming to America and I offer my deepest thanks to those pilgrims that discovered Disneyland.

In Britain, churches celebrate harvest festivals traditionally when the wheat has been cut and the apples have been picked. The churches are decorated in flowers and greenery. Fruit and vegetables are also put on display, with a loaf of bread in the middle. The food is given to the needy after the service. I very much enjoyed an American Thanksgiving and a variety of pumpkin treats, mmmmm.

So...my 1st thanksgiving experience

2008-11-24T10:53:00.000-08:00

When I got home from church last night I found that my host family had left me a slice of pumpkin pie. This left me with a slight problem...having never eaten pumpkin pie I had no idea what to do with it! I had already established that it was a dessert, despite being made from a vegetable, and I had a feeling I should heat it up but then didn"t want to look super stupid for heating up a cold dessert - imagine what you would say if someone heated up a cheesecake!

So I texted Stephanie for advice - Crisis averted and pie was delicious!

So...speaking of vehicles

2008-11-23T18:27:00.000-08:00

I would love to own this British Beauty...

A Land Rover Series 3, LWB, 12 Seater Station Wagon in Java Green.

I've always wanted a Land Rover and this one is even Left Hand Drive so would be perfect!

Hear that Santa? Perfect!

So...vehicles

2008-11-23T18:18:00.000-08:00

The other week we took our High School Small Groups on an overnight retreat. Lots of fun was had. On the drive back one of the guys in my group commented that he had never opened a window with a crank before!?!?! - I felt old...and poor!

Here is a picture of my car (just imagine it after a few more thousand miles than this one and far from perfect paintwork). My small group would like to paint the Union Flag over it which would be awesome!!!

Unfortunately if I had the money for such a project I'd probably spend it on a better car in the first place!! So, at least for the foreseeable future it'll remain green and faded, sorry guys!

So...in the movie theater

2008-11-13T21:54:00.000-08:00

If you sit near me at the movies and choose to eat popcorn louder than I thought humanly possible please do not be surprised if I launch your food across the room and don't even think about bringing a bag of individually wrapped candy.

Just saying.

So...I got my haircut.

2008-11-08T14:10:00.000-08:00

I don't usually enjoy the forced conversation with the person cutting my hair but this mornings exchange was even more obscure than usual.

She was washing my hair and I was contemplating whether these sinks were designed for extreme discomfort, whether it's just me that finds them painful or whether everyone else does too but nobody admits to it - like the "Emperor's New Clothes".

Anyway, she aksed me where I was from and I replied "England" which led to a surprised gasp and all that carry on, she told me she liked my accent then continued with what she was doing. I thought nothing more of it.

Then she asked what city I was from I replied "near London" to which she asked "is that like Rome or Florence?" not knowing quite where this was going I said "I have been to those cities" Then out of nowhere she said "Italian men are very hansome" which I thought was odd, but I don't know - perhaps they are - so I let that comment slide by. This was my first clue that there had been a communication error.

She then commented "Your English is very good for someone who's only been here a year!" This awkward exchange continued and it finally dawned on me that she had mistaken "England" for "Italy" - the accent had apparently not given her a clue as to my nationality.

So now I had realized the error I did what every self respecting person would do....

...I shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep until she was done! Then gave a big tip and ran away.

so...is there a better way to dispose of trash?

2008-10-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

That's right, a 'Hereos' themed trashcan. Awesome.

so...another laundromat experience!

2008-10-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

I saw this sign...
...and thought "what's a soap bag and how do I change it? Have I been using the laundromat for months without performing a vital task by failing to change this fabled 'soap bag'"

I pondered this for a few moments then realized....
it was not an instruction but just information regarding available products from the vending machine! Crisis averted! Phew.

So...I've been tagged

2008-10-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by bethany so before I pass the baton on here goes...

1. I have a paralyzing fear of snakes. I don't like that they have no arms or legs but can still jump and swim. I don't trust them or their twisty, coiling, hissing nature. They're mean, creepy and unpredictable. I couldn't watch "Snakes on a Plane" and this is the best picture I could bear to post - I tried a real photograph but just couldn't do it.

2. I like patterns. Cups in my cabinet should be in height order. ColoUred cups should be arranged in single coloUr groups or in at least in a symmetrical pattern. Chairs in an auditorium must be in a tangible layout even if no one else could possibly see it - it matters. Clothes live in their designated drawers or hung in an approved order (either by coloUr or by style), on no account should socks ever be found in the underwear drawer - it would disturb the natural order of things.

3. I want to be on 'Hereos' so badly it's almost embarrassing (almost!).

4. When I shortlisted which University to attend, 5 of my 6 choices were south of London, the 6th was Newcastle upon Tyne in the opposite end of the country in the North East of England just South of the Scottish border. I put it down for no particular reason and made it my first choice because I liked the Bridge. I ended up living there for 7 years!

5. I am a registered nurse and worked in the ER (or A&E depending on the country). It was nothing like the show 'scrubs' a little like the show 'ER' but without as many attractive people. I made some great friends and a ton of great stories. I miss wearing pajamas for work.

6. I have made a rap video (and you are welcome).

7. Although it makes no sense whatsoever, my brain believes that I save money if I wait till the gas tank is as empty as possible before stopping to fill up. I have run out of gas twice through this approach, once in sight of a gas station, once 3 miles walk from one (for British readers please replace the word 'gas' with 'petrol')

So with all that said...
Allison / Andrea / Josh / Alyssa / Jaime / Ange / Stephanie
...it's over to you guys.

Laundromat!

2008-10-13T17:32:00.000-07:00

Today I made yet another visit to the Laundromat. Instead of my usual hour of people watching I decided to take my laptop and watch a DVD - it was a hugely successful move!

I still witnessed a guy take his white laundry out of the machine to find it had turned a delightful powder blue - Awesome!

Everyone wants a payrise...

2008-10-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

So, I was recently informed that the Queen has asked for a little extra spending money. This intrigued me so I dug a little deeper...

She currently receives around $80million to use for all state business, buildings vehicles, boats, crown polishers footmen, doormen, coachmen, guardsmen and othermen.

She also receives around $25million from personal title and investments that is for personal use (which would buy a lot of starbucks). Overall she is the wealthiest monarch in the World and has assests worth around $70-80billion.

In fairness she does have 4 official residences (3 palaces and a castle) plus 4 private residences (including another castle) which aren't cheap to run.

Plus, of course the upkeep, of the Crown Jewels which consists of a fair few crowns, sceptres, orbs, a chair, a couple of swords, a ton of precious stones and a spoon.

This is my favoUrite piece...it "symbolizes the domination of Christianity over the World".

It would be a larger collection had Oliver Cromwell decided not to melt half of them down when he formed the Commenwealth in 1649.

When I was a kid I was taught that you can't have new toys if you're don't even use the toys you already have. So I wonder if the Royal Family really ought to put some of their possession to good use before requesting extra allowance....

Personally I would wear a crown often, depending on which one suited my outfit, I would always carry a sceptre and would travel to church in the golden carriage.

As for the residences, well it's always nice to have a few good vacation spots!

Another Friday night...

2008-10-04T10:18:00.000-07:00

so, Bethany and I decided to watch some tv on Friday night. When we could not find anything to watch we decided to commence a marathon catch up on Heroes which neither of us has ever seen.

A quick visit to Blockbuster (and momentary stop for cookie dough) provided us with series 1 on DVD (and yes with hindsight this was not the smartest move financially).

So far we like what we see, which is good as it's a long road ahead!!

3

2008-09-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

INCR3DIBLE!!

continuing education in American culture...

2008-09-18T23:17:00.000-07:00

Tonight Bethany introduced me to the wonder of TacoBell...
It was delicious (see above) though I decided it would be best not to ask too many questions about the origin of the ingredients - sometimes it's better not to know.

The things you learn...

2008-09-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

For nearly 27 years I have always peeled a banana starting from the stalky bit on the top. This often leads to mushing the first inch of the banana which I had regarded as an occupational hazard, one of the sadder things of life - or so I thought!!!
Following the example of a particular German Intern I discovered the ease and joy of peeling a banana from the other end!! Amazing! Dom - my potassium level thanks you!

Mail...

2008-09-10T16:03:00.000-07:00

I love getting mail! Especially when it contains delicious, classic treats from the UK!

We don't accept British...

2008-09-10T06:58:00.000-07:00

Last night I was refused entry into a restaurant because I only had international ID. So I immediately contacted a Palace representative who promised to resolve this situation for me.

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II II has issued a statement that should avoid such unpleasant situations in the future.

Nomophobia...

2008-09-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

Nomophobia is the fear of being without cell phone contact. I bought a new phone recently which is a great achievement cos I have a fear of cell phone retailers. According to Wikipedia (the experts in all things) there is no name for this so I shall call it:

"confusingly-intimidating-nerdy-technological-pressurizing-phone-o-phobia"

I can't explain it but have to mentally prepare before entering a cell phone store (and usually have someone with me for moral support and to answer questions).

Fortunately snakes don't work in cell phone stores because that's probably the worse combination of things in the world!

Why do small dogs insist on making so much noise?

2008-09-07T03:17:00.000-07:00

So, I got home at about 2am and attempted the obligatory "quiet as a mouse on Christmas eve" approach to house entry. The dog had other plans and decided to alert the entire neighboUrhood to my arrival. Extremely unhelpful!

...until next time!

2008-09-07T03:13:00.000-07:00

So today was a little crazy. I had to say goodbye (for now) to Allison - one of my favoUrite people in the world. I'm so sad to see her go and will miss her loads but I'm excited to see what God has planned for her.

Sometimes I wonder....

2008-09-05T10:27:00.001-07:00

...whether a trained monkey in a Union Jack cape could do my job better than me. Hmmm.

Working?

2008-09-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we let Bethany think she's cool. I'm not sure her computer is even switched on!